Well.. I do now :) ..
there was a letter she never had the chance nor courage to give to her dearest mad hatter..


Dear Mad Hatter,

Did it ever cross your mind, that you were the reason why Alice didn't leave wonderland?
It was your world of wonder that enthralled her.
Occupied and mesmerized by one hatter's peculiar journey.
Those trailling scars around your fingers has their way of telling your story as a whole ever so poignant it rouse her curiosity to apprehend what lies beneath it all.

You were taking turns as a hatter with the audacity of hope at one point, an esoteric white rabbit with a broken pocket watch on the other.
You my clever dear mad hatter, always know how to fickle your queen of hearts.
Well enough it got her dazed and lost in her thoughts.

Perhaps this is my time dear, another one of your worst fear ..
i'm sorry my mad hatter.. i don't think the heart can comprise any longer
I can never be just an acquintance .. or even just another Alice.
Yes, You are absolutely right, i don't know you well enough.
However, i am pretty sure i don't just idolizes you as a remedy worthy of a "chicken soup for the soul"
i feel my self fell spiraling downwards to the pink world beyond and scared myself silly.
since after all .. we are alike. another broken humans ..
shattered by life, fractured by another living beings.

From your stories of encountering with other Alices,
I'm certain, many asked, What had happened?
Well, frankly I understand, life happened.
Never get the broken watch shattered to dust my dear as the thoughts of pain will made you oblivious and frightened of the pathways that leads you to happiness..

Someday,
your beloved one, whose eyes you fixated upon
will thank whomever that crosses your path, for leaving you

I can never tell you to stop licking your open wounds and bestowed upon you million promises of future endeavor.
But i can tell you that,
You, my mad hatter was the only person i've ever pursuit in all 29 years and 11 month of my life.
It never occurs to me to create a supermega telenovela combustion, nor do a Copperfield Jedi mind tricks
However, Having said that, i plead guilty of a corny confession.

To write this ever so long heart content, I am a cowardly coward, because i spare us from the look of disappointing eyes and the awkwardness that follows

I never want to be a dissapointment for you nor you to me.
Although, Obviously, no i will not understand if you happen to do a "lucy" on me but i am smart enough to accept it when it happens.

Some says, one can't waltz with a pegged leg and so do i,
Well dear mad hatter, tell me,
Will you be at the bottom of the hole i fell in, laughing in misfit as i fell flat on my ever so tiny butt and shoot you with daggers look on my face ?
or shall i withdraw the strings and open up my solo parachute vanished from your mere sight?

-The dazed Alice-
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Unable to keep
my eyes closed,
I found myself
floating,
drifting,
dancing
in a bright light..
-moonbleu-


Spectator
Has come to the darkside

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