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Kamu dan bunga putih mu memenuhi pagiku
Siangku malamku
Dan berhari hingga bunga putih itu layu termakan usia

Memang cinta kita adalah aluran garis keras ..
Tumpahan asin air mata dan darah siluman yg mengucur tak tertahankan kala rindu tak sampai itu ada di benak.

Haruskah aku kembali ke alur asal dimana aku harus kembali menunggu kamu yg tak kunjung datang temani wujudku ?

Masihkah?
Masih, kamu tidak pernah akan hilang dari sanubari
Seberapa tajam bubuk amnesia kutorehkan dalam benak ini
Selalu ada kamu dan semua tentang kamu

Kasih tak sampai ..
Belahan diriku yang tak pernah sampai seberapa panjang tangan ini kujulurkan
Tidakkah cukup rasa dan kesetiaan ini untuk membuatmu beranjak untuk membawaku?

Aku letih sayang,
Biarlah aku berhenti mengejarmu
Datanglah kepadaku disaat kamu siap
Disaat dimana aku takmau terpisahkan
Walau maut menjelang..

Happy valentine from a distance my dear one








1 comments Kau bidik pisau itu ke arahku
Menukik, Menghujam dalam kecepatan tinggi

Lalu, tubuh ini berbaring mendatar sejajar dengan marmer dingin

Kenapa tak biarkan saja saya terbaring?
Tenggelam mati dalam biluran darah sendiri?

Kau obati luka menganga
Luka yang kini sudah menjadi koreng
Yang kemudian kau tancapkan kembali duri beracun hanya karena kamu bisa

 tinggalkan aku lagi sampai di titik hela nafas penghabisan
Lalu datang tergopoh berikan suntik penawar

Sudah
Biarkanlah hancur perlahan
Toh aku hanya seonggok massa yang mudah tergantikan

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It has always been my best interest to study human, their thoughts;
watch them, listen to their stories, understand to what intrigued them in life and what motivates them to live more as well as their intentions in how to spent their whole life.

It's fascinating to see even the slightest thing can cause ruckus and havoc to their emotions. Amped by various things, always full of curiosity, and huge desire to left behind a legacy.

All which leads to, the purpose of one's life. Finding their path to reach their set of goals; money, power, love, wisdom, peace, or whatever it is they're after. But does it exist really ? determined is one thing, greed is another. Enough, was never truly enough. It's like playing endless rounds of monopoly, the rich kept on going at it to accumulate their wealth and the poor trying to get by each and every rounds and let's just say, enriching their "value of life".

However, in the hustle and bustle of life's journey, interpersonal relationship intrigued me most. Human emotions are one wicked thing to go through, to reason with every thoughts is such hard work, not to mention consume a lot of energy and time. There are studies over studies and even lessons just to communicate well with others, as well as understanding gestures and habitual rhythm, therefore predict the opposites persons' action ahead of them.

Then there's the game of getting the opposite sex's attention. There's a scarcity of challenges in just normal greet; you like, me like, we fuck. It has to involve mind boggling series of pulling and pushing in open ended conversations, emotional play, word twisting, as well as durability which consumes time & energy. Imagine an eager vulture waiting patiently for their prey. Even, many magazines and self help books offers ways to catch the "fish".. Those so-called "gimmicks" and tricks accumulated and form a theory, not even conspiracy could comprise. Tested, approved and full on working at most cases, which then turn into means of occupation for some "enthusiast". An established "Pick-up Artist" acquired sex magnets charisma to their prey, although may appear sleazy to some, but mainly their sole purpose in life is to find extraordinaire challenges after challenges in "getting" their prey which then converted their actions into an endless source of relationship education. Understanding their opposite sex's pattern and twist it to their advantage, making themselves more unique and attractive. Then, they exhaust the emotional feelings of their prey, with a belief who comes on top of the food chain would rule their relationship's world, whilst the prey became an obedient tool at their disposal. However, isn't that tiring ? You've got to stay alert most of the time, not to disclose your real self and had to appear "artificially" genuine. All of those conquest will come into a platonic boredom and once again, they find themselves in the Savannah lurking in every corner for a new source of interest.

Me and my naive thought always consider, in a mutual relationship, there should be common attraction and endless conversation interesting enough to keep your brain stimulated, instead of a dull emotional draining moments that keep you on your toes every single minute of your life. Finding companions moreover, it has to balance itself on a plate, not too many, none to little. You can't put a theory onto practice and then forgetting yourself in the process. But i guess, as the ancient world revolving through time, all of those quality of life has now been slowly forgotten and replaced by a fully functional process "system" and quantifiable theory to measure the success rate of "How to get your bitch for Dummies", how to master the game or the art of seduction, along with steps and counter measure.

*sigh .. it's just sad really. You are either in the game or being toyed with. Then again, human, tend to survive. In this nasty confusion of mind wars, there are still genuine people out there, best of luck in finding one.



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夢ぢには
あしもやすめず
かよへども
うつつにひとめ
見しごとはあらず

Though I go to you
ceaselessly along dream paths,
the sum of those trysts
is less than a single glimpse
granted in the waking world.


小野小町 (Ono no komachi)
0 comments
Morikawa Natsuki(모리카와 나츠키/森川七月) Lullaby Of Birdland

Lullaby of Birdland, that`s what I,
always hear, when you sigh,

Never in my wordland could
there be ways to reveal
In a phrase, how I feel

Heard you ever heard two turtle doves,
bill and coo,when they love.
That`s the kind of magic music
we make with our lips, when we kiss

And there`s a weepy old willow,
he really knows how to cry,
That`s how I`d cry on my pillow,
if you should tell me farewell and goodbye

lullaby of Birdland,whisper low,
kiss me sweet, and we`ll go
Flyin` high in Birdland, high in the sky up above.
all because we`re in love.

Have you ever heard two turtle doves,
bill and coo,when they love.
That`s the kind of magic music
we make we our lips, when we kiss

And there`s a weppy old willow,
he really knows how to cry,
That`s how I`d cry on my pillow,
if you should tell me farewell and goodbye

lullaby of Birdland,whisper low,
kiss me sweet, and we`ll go
Flyin` high in Birdland, high in the sky up above.
all because we`re in love.




0 comments Came across this letter from a dear dad .. *sigh

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,
Daddy
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Unable to keep
my eyes closed,
I found myself
floating,
drifting,
dancing
in a bright light..
-moonbleu-


Spectator
Has come to the darkside

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